I came out in a rush and so did several vote counts in southern Illinois. As eveyone knew within hours, Dewey did not defeat Truman, and apparently the tide turned shortly after my arrival. Coincidence? Shurely you jest. Sadly I've been unable to pull any other electoral miracles. For instance I refuse to take any responsability for dumbass W.It seems my luck was stretched pretty thin getting me here intact. I arrived during my first asthma attack and apparently the doctors were alarmed to discover I was also allergic to the benedryl they injrcted to calm the attack. Oh well, shit happens, and it isnlt always good shit. Personaly I've always been suspicious of Republican doctors.Asthma was pretty much a pain my ass until I graduated from highschool in 1967, when I'm pretty sure it saved mt life. You may or may not remember what our enlightened government was up to around that time. Lo and behold my local draft board sent me an invitation to a war against people I wasn't personally. "So you'd feel better about saying 'yes' to people if you knew they'd get pleasure out of it?" Well sure," said Abbie, still mopping the floor. "I just want to help make people happy!" So what if I asked you to ..." he paused, and swallowed nervously. "To ... suck my dick, right here in the break room."Abbie looked up at him. Suddenly Jake regretted it. "Oh my god, Abbie. I'm so so sorry. That obviously crossed a line, seriously crossed a line. I was just trying to think of the most outrageous thing. I don't know what came over me." Oh, so ... you don't want me to suck your dick?" she asked.Jake was stunned. "Uh ... what?" Well, you asked me to, and I had just finished wiping up the coffee from the floor. So I was about to come over to you, and --" And suck my dick?" Sure, why not?"Jake was speechless. "Abbie, no one asks anyone to suck their dick at work. And certainly no one actually does!"Abbie shrugged. "Why not? You asked, why would I say no?"Jake threw his arms up. "Because.
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